tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-54713384814822633812024-02-20T14:18:33.692-08:00Masonic Wives AnonymousA place of support for the wife, girlfriend, daughter or other woman <br>associated with a member of the Masonic Order and appendant bodies.MW Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09779701951371099232noreply@blogger.comBlogger15125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5471338481482263381.post-15255646875184723452017-02-06T15:43:00.000-08:002017-02-06T15:43:00.200-08:00I have been working on something new to say. Frankly, as unchanging as Masonry claims to be, so is my experience.<br />
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My husband continues to be offered more offices than any one person could manage. He takes some, he leaves some. At the moment, I have no idea how many he has or in what organizations. I've stopped counting.<br />
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I continue with my policy that it's his hobby/religion/obsession and I don't need to be a part of it. He seems to have accepted that is how it will be and has, mostly, quit asking.<br />
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My greatest irritation is having to listen to him rant about some of the actions/inaction of men, in power, who are clearly showing signs of incompetence, dementia or psychosis. It does not seem to matter how incapable someone becomes, he's left in office to foul things up. It makes no sense to me.MW Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09779701951371099232noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5471338481482263381.post-68909573556456224592013-04-22T09:25:00.000-07:002013-04-22T09:25:21.936-07:00Clueless, they are.I had a long, internet conversation with an older Mason a couple of nights ago. He mentioned that they are not getting many new, younger members. He said young men just weren't interested in joining "social" organizations. I told him I could explain that. He asked me to do so.<br />
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What followed was a long discussion of the treatment and attitude toward women of the Masonic order. I told him about sitting and waiting while the men do their thing, about being expected to hostess entertainment for all the "ladies" doing likewise. About sitting at dinner tables while my husband and the man on the other side of me talked across me as if I was not even there and the demeaning jokes told.<br />
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I told him that today's women are not going to accept that kind of behavior from their husband/boyfriend. <br />
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He talked about the "unchangeable" nature of the rituals. I said I didn't think most modern men would find the path to "enlightenment" much enhanced by the archaic and, frankly, silly rituals of the lodge.<br />
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In the end, he said something to the effect of "I'm sorry you feel that way."<br />
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My reply was "Evolve or perish." I'm betting on the latter.MW Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09779701951371099232noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5471338481482263381.post-84518919989782412482013-04-07T10:39:00.002-07:002013-04-07T10:39:37.568-07:00Waiting for his return, yet again.It's Sunday morning and he'll be home this afternoon after 5 days
absence for a Grand convention. I want to be excited to see him. Knowing
that all I am going to hear is the details of the event for the next
several days, just as it was all he talked about for the week prior,
does not thrill me.<br /><br />So, I will listen until my eyes glaze over. And I'll
find out what new commitments he's been offered and declined/accepted. I can tell from his call last night that something is up. I know that they keep asking him to take yet another office.<br /><br />Next year, he's the grand pubah for another group. I'm sure it won't be the last. I have heard other Mason's refer to their Masonic "career." Clearly, that's what I'm in for. A career in waiting.MW Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09779701951371099232noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5471338481482263381.post-74930674551356505712013-01-28T10:18:00.000-08:002013-01-28T10:18:04.580-08:00The not so hidden costs of "appointments."A few nights ago, my husband shared with me that he "would not be surprised" if he was appointed to a "prestigious" position by one of his friends. My first question, as it is every time he says something like this, was "What does this entail?".<br />
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"Only four meetings a year....in Las Vegas." Translated into reality: four plane tickets and how many nights lodging, meals, and entertainment?<br />
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We had a frank discussion about how we have only one pocket for all this to come out of. We're trying to save for retirement. My spending is often criticized as being excessive or unnecessary, but he does not see the Masonic expenses in the same light. <br />
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I think he got it, we'll see. MW Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09779701951371099232noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5471338481482263381.post-61453704695154267742012-12-10T11:48:00.000-08:002012-12-10T11:48:08.879-08:00I'm noticing a little more traffic of late. This is encouraging but I'd love for people to post some comments. I want to know what you think or any questions you have.MW Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09779701951371099232noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5471338481482263381.post-10064075073498367812012-09-03T10:39:00.000-07:002012-09-03T10:39:01.234-07:00One of the apparent fascinations of Masonry is the politics concerning what is, or is not, an approved group. When any Mason joins a "clandestine body", he is supposed to be ostracized.<br />
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Currently, there is a big conflict over whether a national governing body (several of whom have joined an illicit group) has the authority to make this formerly clandestine group into a "regular" group.<br />
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This turmoil is occupying much of my husband's mind.
Personally, I consider it a tempest in a teapot. But, it is stressful for him and that is not good for either of us. I want to say, "just walk away". But, I know he won't.MW Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09779701951371099232noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5471338481482263381.post-23607735731395697092011-08-22T09:56:00.000-07:002011-08-22T09:56:09.992-07:00The Rituals are PublishedThe secret rituals are really not a secret. They have been published. "The Secrets of Freemasonry" by William Morgan has it all right there in black and white. I got a free version for my Kindle. At this point, I see it listed for $4.99. If you're really curious, you might want to read them. You can probably find it in a well stocked public library.<br />
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The rituals, themselves, are archaic. They all center around the mythology surrounding the building of Solomon's temple and the secret code words of the stonemasons who worked on it. I suppose, done well, they could create a transformative experience for the initiate. Done poorly, I would think they appear as ridiculous as they sound. A lot of it reminds me of what I know of fraternity hazing; blindfolding, being led about by a rope, threatened and roughed up.<br />
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There is a lot of talk of "enlightenment" after receiving the initiations. The candidate is required to memorize a "lecture" which amounts to repeating the facts of the ritual when questioned. What he learned is how to repeat the ritual for other candidates.<br />
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The oaths required of an initiate are startling. The man swears to accept the penalty of death, in quite grizzly detail, if he reveals the secrets. The master mason's oath is the most upsetting to me, as a woman.<br />
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He swears, "...that I will never be at the initiating of an old man in his dotage, a young man in his nonage, an atheist*, irreliqious libertine, idiot, madman, hermaphrodite nor woman."<br />
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You see in what high esteem we are held.<br />
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After reading all this material, I have to agree with the Masons. They are not a religion, they are a cult.<br />
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* All Masons are required to believe in a "Supreme Being". (Pick a God, any one will do.) That "G" in the middle of the square and compass is God or Geometry (also divine). They refer to God as the "Grand Architect." And they do pray to Him. Despite the disclaimer that they are nondenominational, most of the ritual is Judeo-Christian and makes liberal reference to the Bible.MW Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09779701951371099232noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5471338481482263381.post-60422098752334521502011-08-22T09:06:00.000-07:002011-08-22T09:06:04.989-07:00Two Down, One to GoHis reign over one York Rite body ended in April 2011. The next one begins in 2013.<br />
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I learned, much to my horror, that bowing out as the "first lady" does nothing to slow this juggernaut. I doubt the men even notice as other women step in and fill the gap. (Why they do this is beyond me.) It makes me sad that the work falls on them and angry that I cannot even make a protest by my absence.<br />
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In three days, he flies across the country for a national gathering. Another week apart and $1000+ out the window. <br />
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MW Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09779701951371099232noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5471338481482263381.post-37320869492098565502010-10-25T16:08:00.000-07:002010-10-25T16:08:07.786-07:00Halfway through the "year."We're halfway through this grand office year. The visitations are coming thick and fast. He was away three days and two nights last weekend, one evening last week and will be away two days, starting tomorrow. The truce seems to be holding, we aren't fighting about it.<br />
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But, already, he has another international office. And, he's talking about the next grand line for the state. *sigh* <br />
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How am I coping? I've been working my tail off in the yard getting the landscaping restored, trying to beat the rain. Now that it's too wet and cold for that, I got a puppy. She's fitting into the family quite nicely. She does not like football and she can't join the Masons because she's a girl. I don't know about male dogs, there probably aren't any who have joined because they don't know they have to ask.MW Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09779701951371099232noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5471338481482263381.post-78422145945882025962010-04-24T13:16:00.000-07:002010-04-24T13:16:35.530-07:00LonelinessHe was installed as the Grand "Pubah" of a state affiliated body two weekends ago. This entailed a four day trip away from home. Already, he is gone for another four day weekend visit to another state's grand sessions. Next weekend, two days away.<br />
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I am supposed to be comforted that next month, he has no trips, but June holds at least two. I already know that things will "come up."<br />
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It's fine that he is doing something he enjoys. What is not fine is that he can't be bothered for more than a five minute phone call once a day. I have to wait until he calls me as the schedule at these events is packed tightly. That's okay. But if his roommate comes in, he's done talking, period.<br />
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I'm plenty busy during the day. I can certainly handle four days alone. But, he is spending time we would, ordinarily, have together and there is no way to get it back. I'm feeling how short life is becoming. Letting OUR time slip away on something I cannot share makes me sad, maybe even angry. I am trying to take the view that he's happy right now.<br />
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Still, I am lonely.MW Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09779701951371099232noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5471338481482263381.post-49959186657941143862010-03-19T15:07:00.000-07:002010-03-19T15:07:05.573-07:00A weekend awayOn the positive side, not "going along" for these multi-day events gives me a weekend to enjoy my way. I am staying with a dear friend who is also a Masonic wife. Ordinarily, she does accompany her Mason, but she's injured and not able to go. <br />
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Works for us. We get time together without the "overlay".MW Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09779701951371099232noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5471338481482263381.post-14278541990680606672010-03-10T11:17:00.000-08:002010-03-10T11:17:12.629-08:00Wives are not default secretaries.It has begun. This weekend, my husband sent out letters to invite members to serve as his "deputies" during his term as Worshipful Grand Master of the Council of Cryptic Masons in our state this coming year.<br />
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This morning, I got the first of many phone calls that start, "Is (insert name) there?, This is (insert name) from (insert lodge) and I got a letter from him..." <br />
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My husband is a man of working age and not here during the day. So, my request that they call back in the evening is usually met with, "Can you have him call me back? My number is..." Or more difficult, "Tell him that..." or "I need to know...". I'm not usually in a good place to take detailed message, portable phones have sort of messed up the pencil and pad by the phone system.<br />
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I have requested a standard reply from my husband. It will be easier for me to have a canned answer than to try to think of something off the cuff. <br />
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I have memories of a pizza parlor we went to when I was a child. It had a sign on the wall: "We have an agreement with the bank. The bank does not make pizza and we don't cash checks." I fantasize something like: "I have an agreement with my husband. He's a Mason and I'm not."<br />
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In reality, I think it's time to set up the answering machine with multiple mailboxes and let it handle the traffic. Then, I don't have to deal with the aggravation and the caller gets a standard greeting and a place to leave a detailed message. The only people who won't be happy are the telemarketers and those who want to talk to me, immediately. But, my family and friends know my cell number, don't they?MW Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09779701951371099232noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5471338481482263381.post-69426271236995673192010-02-01T19:54:00.000-08:002010-02-01T19:54:11.614-08:00How do you talk about it?I have no answers to this question. I'm not very good at it, that's for sure.<br />
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I end up spilling my anger and he ends up stonewalling. Not a productive way to communicate over any topic.<br />
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Still, what can be said? I don't want him gone so much; I feel abandoned. He feels justified but cannot (will not?)explain to me what he gets out of it.<br />
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He does not even understand that I am not asking him to quit. Just to moderate his participation and accept that it's not my thing. <br />
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I need him to know that asking me to attend events is not "being nice." It puts me in a bind. I love him. I can't go.MW Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09779701951371099232noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5471338481482263381.post-80631976927701539762010-01-31T05:09:00.000-08:002010-01-31T05:09:11.761-08:00Mixed MarriageIn many ways, being married to a Mason carries the same burdens as marriage to someone of a different religion. His belief in the mythology of Masonry and participation in archaic, secret rituals can leave the wife feeling excluded. In some ways, it is worse than a religious difference because a woman cannot even "read" the ritual book as it is written in a cypher using only the first letter of each word. The meaning is passed on by rote learning, one Mason to another.<br />
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If, for example, a marriage is between a catholic and a protestant, they at least have a common holy book, can attend each others services, even convert if they choose. Between more different religions, the holy books can still be shared, discussed, even debated. Seldom are there rituals that cannot be explained so that there is understanding between the spouses.<br />
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Full participation, in this country, is not an option. At best, a wife can attend banquets and installations, but her presence is entirely peripheral. Joining the womens' auxiliary organizations may be satisfying to some. However, one is no closer to knowing what her husband is doing at all those meetings she may never attend.<br />
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Few religious adherents, in the United States, attend more than one or two meetings per week. The abundance of appendant Masonic organizations makes it possible for a Mason to belong to a dozen or more. Each has it's monthly meeting and often, a multi-day annual convention. Men elected to district or state offices are expected to make visitations upon other groups, greatly multiplying the meetings available to attend. This can lead to a sense of abandonment as the he leaves home all day Saturday and 3 nights in the same week, or travels out of state for a 3-4 day meeting using his vacations days to do so.<br />
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Most modern women hold jobs as well as keeping the house and rearing the children. She cannot follow her husband from event to event. Despite the claim made by Masonry that it will not interfere with duty to family, that is not my experience nor that of many women I have talked to. His Masonic duties tend to come right behind those of his employment leaving family a sad third in line for his attention.<br />
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Any hobby can get out of hand and take too much attention. The problem is that most Masons don't think of it as a hobby. It's a devotion, an obligation, an oath-bound allegiance; it insinuates itself into every available niche. Similar to the Marine's motto "God, Country, Corps", wife and family come in a distant last.MW Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09779701951371099232noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5471338481482263381.post-17563766252905332802010-01-28T15:17:00.000-08:002010-01-28T15:47:25.180-08:00Welcome To MW-AnonThis forum is not intended to "bash" particular persons or organizations. Be respectful. <br />
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Please post from your own direct experience, as a woman related to a Mason. Do not disclose your personal information so that you can speak freely. It's okay to express your true feelings, just keep it honest and be fair.<br />
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All posts are moderated and rudeness is unacceptable. I reserve the right to edit posts and when I do, I will so note it in the post text. I will not change intent of the message, but I may change or delete offensive material.<br />
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If you prefer a discussion board format, please visit: <a href="http://forums.delphiforums.com/creatrix/?">Masonic Wives Anonymous at Delphi Forums</a>MW Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09779701951371099232noreply@blogger.com