Saturday, April 24, 2010


He was installed as the Grand "Pubah" of a state affiliated body two weekends ago. This entailed a four day trip away from home. Already, he is gone for another four day weekend visit to another state's grand sessions. Next weekend, two days away.

I am supposed to be comforted that next month, he has no trips, but June holds at least two. I already know that things will "come up."

It's fine that he is doing something he enjoys. What is not fine is that he can't be bothered for more than a five minute phone call once a day. I have to wait until he calls me as the schedule at these events is packed tightly. That's okay. But if his roommate comes in, he's done talking, period.

I'm plenty busy during the day. I can certainly handle four days alone. But, he is spending time we would, ordinarily, have together and there is no way to get it back. I'm feeling how short life is becoming. Letting OUR time slip away on something I cannot share makes me sad, maybe even angry. I am trying to take the view that he's happy right now.

Still, I am lonely.

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