How do you talk about it?

I have no answers to this question. I'm not very good at it, that's for sure.

I end up spilling my anger and he ends up stonewalling. Not a productive way to communicate over any topic.

Still, what can be said? I don't want him gone so much; I feel abandoned. He feels justified but cannot (will not?)explain to me what he gets out of it.

He does not even understand that I am not asking him to quit. Just to moderate his participation and accept that it's not my thing.

I need him to know that asking me to attend events is not "being nice." It puts me in a bind. I love him. I can't go.